Unsourced

Quotations for which I could not find the author.

1. Imitation is not the sincerest form of flattery.
   Stalking is.

   161.

2. In an argument, a woman always has the last word.
   Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

   162.

3. In any organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on.
   That person must be fired.

   163.

4. In London, a man gets robbed every 4.5 minutes.
   And he's getting fed up with it.

   164.

5. It was so cold, the town flasher ran up and described himself.

   165.

6. It's disputed whether or not money can buy happiness.
   But happiness certainly can't buy money.

   166.

7. It's not hard to meet expenses.
   They're everywhere.

   167.

8. I've had amnesia for as long as I can remember.

   168.

9. I've used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.

   169.

10. Jesus is coming.
    Everyone look busy!

    170.

11. Junk: stuff we throw away.
    Stuff: junk we keep.

    171.

12. Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.

    172.

13. Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion, with confidence.

    173.

14. Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.

    174.

15. Me, a skeptic?
    I trust you have proof.

    175.

16. Militant agnostic:
    I don't know, and neither do you!

    176.

17. Money can't buy love.
    But it can rent a very close imitation.

    177.

18. Multitasking: Screwing up several things at once.

    178.

19. My hometown is so tough, gun shops have “Back to School” sales.

    179.

20. My software never has bugs.
    It just develops random features.

    180.