283 quotations — 264 Funny, 15 Serious, 4 Trivia.
Here's page 11 of 15.
Please let me know if you don't receive this message.201.
Programmer to Boss/Client/Manager:202.
You can have the project: (1) Done On Time, (2) Done On Budget, and (3) Done Properly.
Pick two.
Real programmers don't document.203.
If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand — and even harder to modify.
Reporter to factory owner: About how many people work in your factory?204.
Answer: About a quarter.
Seek, and you shall be disappointed.205.
Sex is not the answer.206.
Sex is the question.
‘Yes’ is the answer.
Shouldn't crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?207.
Si hoc legere scis nimium eruditionis habes.208.
(If you can read this, you're overeducated.)
Silence doesn't mean your sexual performance left her speechless.209.
Sleep: A completely inadequate substitute for caffeine.210.
Smith & Wesson: The original “Point-and-Click” interface.211.
Smith & Wesson: The ultimate “Point-and-Click” interface.212.
Software isn't released.213.
It escapes.
Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.214.
Some people have a way with words.215.
Others not have way.
Sometimes I wake up grumpy.216.
Other times I let him sleep.
Support the right to arm bears.217.
Support your local Search and Rescue unit.218.
Get lost.
Take my advice.219.
I don't use it, anyway.
The beatings will continue until morale improves!220.