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Quotations for which I could not find the author.

283 quotations — 264 Funny, 15 Serious, 4 Trivia.

Here's page 1 of 15.

  1. 54% of all statistics are made up.
    No; make that 82%.
    1.
  2. A cat will almost always blink, when hit with a sledgehammer.
    2.
  3. A day for firm decisions!
    Or is it?
    3.
  4. A fight to the death with a zombie has a few inherent problems.
    4.
  5. A filing cabinet is where papers get lost alphabetically.
    5.
  6. A fine is a tax for doing something wrong.
    A tax is a fine for doing something right.
    6.
  7. A happy ending is a story that hasn't finished yet.
    7.
  8. A millionaire requested he be cremated and his ashes sent to the IRS, wish this message:
    “Now you have it all.”
    8.
  9. A new study says that marijuana does not make a good medicine.
    It took years for the scientists to reach this conclusion.
    But no one in the test group seemed to mind.
    9.
  10. A single fact can spoil a good argument.
    10.
  11. A student who changes the course of history is probably taking an exam.
    11.
  12. A true gentleman is one who can play the bagpipes, and doesn't.
    12.
  13. A wise man knows everything.
    A shrewd man knows everyone.
    13.
  14. A woman met a man walking along the street, wearing only one shoe.
    “Just lost a shoe?”
    “Nope. Just found one.”
    14.
  15. AAAAA: American Association Against Acronym Abuse.
    15.
  16. According to obituary notices, mean and hateful people never die.
    16.
  17. Adolescents are children old enough to dress by themselves.
    If they could just remember where they last saw their clothes.
    17.
  18. After working out, I feel like a 20-year-old.
    Unfortunately, there's never one around.
    18.
  19. After you lose an election, will they let you back into all the exclusive clubs you resigned from?
    19.
  20. All great wisdom is found on T-shirts.
    20.
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