Unsourced

Quotations for which I could not find the author.

1. Don't you hate it when you're robbing a convenience store and the clerk recognizes you from high school?

   81.

2. Due to budgetary constraints, the light at the end of the tunnel is being turned off.

   82.

3. Dyslexics of the World: Untie!

   83.

4. Early to rise and early to bed.
   Makes a man healthy, but socially dead.

   84.

5. Education is a funny thing.
   At eighteen, I knew all the answers.
   Now, at 46, I don't even understand the questions.

   85.

6. Error: No keyboard.
   Press F1 to continue.

   86.

7. Escargot?
   No thanks; I like fast food.

   87.

8. Ever notice that even the busiest people are never too busy to tell you just how busy they are?

   88.

9. Every baby born in America is endowed with life, liberty, and a share of the national debt.

   89.

10. Every time I lose weight, it finds me again.

    90.

11. Everyone has a right to be stupid.
    Some just abuse the privilege.

    91.

12. Failure is not an option.
    It's a lifestyle.

    92.

13. For sale: parachute.
    Only used once; never opened; small stain.

    93.

14. Forgive and forget.
    But keep a list of names, just in case.

    94.

15. Free advice costs nothing — until you act upon it.

    95.

16. Friends help you move.
    Real friends help you move bodies.

    96.

17. Frustration: Not having anyone to blame, but yourself.

    97.

18. Get Revenge!
    Live long enough to be a problem for your children!

    98.

19. Give a jackass an education, and you get a smartass.

    99.

20. Give someone a program, and you'll frustrate them for a day.
    Teach someone to program, and you'll frustrate them for a lifetime.

    100.