Bart Simpson, Writing on the Blackboard

The most interesting of the statements that Bart Simpson appeared to be writing on the blackboard, during the opening sequence of every episode of “The Simpsons”.

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149 quotations — all marked as Funny.

Here's page 6 of 8.

  1. I will not torment the emotionally frail.
    101.
  2. I will not whittle hall passes out of soap.
    102.
  3. I will not yell “Fire” in a crowded classroom.
    103.
  4. I will not yell “She's Dead” during roll call.
    104.
  5. I will only provide a urine sample when asked.
    105.
  6. Indian burns are not our cultural heritage.
    106.
  7. It does not suck to be you.
    107.
  8. Jesus is not mad his birthday is on Christmas.
    108.
  9. Loose teeth don't need my help.
    109.
  10. Making Milhouse cry is not a science project.
    110.
  11. “March Madness” is not an excuse for missing school.
    111.
  12. Mud is not one of the 4 food groups.
    112.
  13. My butt does not deserve a website.
    113.
  14. My mom is not dating Jerry Seinfeld.
    114.
  15. My name is not Dr. Death.
    115.
  16. My pen is not a booger launcher.
    116.
  17. Nerve gas is not a toy.
    117.
  18. No one cares what my definition of “is” is.
    118.
  19. No one wants to hear from my armpits.
    119.
  20. “Non-flammable” is not a challenge.
    120.
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