Bart Simpson, Writing on the Blackboard

The most interesting of the statements that Bart Simpson appeared to be writing on the blackboard, during the opening sequence of every episode of “The Simpsons”.

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149 quotations — all marked as Funny.

Here's page 3 of 8.

  1. I can't absolve sins.
    41.
  2. I can't hire a substitute student.
    42.
  3. I can't see dead people.
    43.
  4. I did not invent Irish dancing.
    44.
  5. I did not learn everything I need to know in kindergarten.
    45.
  6. I did not see Elvis.
    46.
  7. I did not see teacher applying for welfare.
    47.
  8. I did not win the Nobel Fart Prize.
    48.
  9. I do not have a cereal named after me.
    49.
  10. I do not have diplomatic immunity.
    50.
  11. I do not have power of attorney over first graders.
    51.
  12. I have neither been there nor done that.
    52.
  13. I was not the inspiration for “Kramer”.
    53.
  14. I was not the sixth Beatle.
    54.
  15. I will not aim for the head.
    55.
  16. I will not belch the National Anthem.
    56.
  17. I will not bring sheep to class.
    57.
  18. I will not bury the new kid.
    58.
  19. I will not buy a Presidential pardon.
    59.
  20. I will not call my teacher “Hot Cakes”.
    60.
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