Bart Simpson, Writing on the Blackboard

The most interesting of the statements that Bart Simpson appeared to be writing on the blackboard, during the opening sequence of every episode of “The Simpsons”.

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149 quotations — all marked as Funny.

Here's page 5 of 8.

  1. I will not instigate revolution.
    81.
  2. I will not “let the dogs out”.
    82.
  3. I will not mock teacher's outdated cell phone.
    83.
  4. I will not obey the voices in my head.
    84.
  5. I will not prescribe medication.
    85.
  6. I will not publish the Principal's credit report.
    86.
  7. I will not put hot sauce in the CPR dummy.
    87.
  8. I will not scare the Vice President.
    88.
  9. I will not “scream for ice cream”.
    89.
  10. I will not sell land in Florida.
    90.
  11. I will not sell miracle cures.
    91.
  12. I will not sell my kidney on eBay.
    92.
  13. I will not sell school property.
    93.
  14. I will not send lard through the mail.
    94.
  15. I will not sleep through my education.
    95.
  16. I will not speculate on how hot teacher used to be.
    96.
  17. I will not spin the turtle.
    97.
  18. I will not strut around like I own the place.
    98.
  19. I will not surprise the incontinent.
    99.
  20. I will not teach others to fly.
    100.
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