Bart Simpson, Writing on the Blackboard

The most interesting of the statements that Bart Simpson appeared to be writing on the blackboard, during the opening sequence of every episode of “The Simpsons”.

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149 quotations — all marked as Funny.

Here's page 2 of 8.

  1. High explosives and school don't mix.
    21.
  2. Hillbillies are people too.
    22.
  3. Hot dogs are not bookmarks.
    23.
  4. I am not a 32 year old woman.
    24.
  5. I am not a dentist.
    25.
  6. I am not a lean, mean spitting machine.
    26.
  7. I am not a licensed hairstylist.
    27.
  8. I am not allergic to long division.
    28.
  9. I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers.
    29.
  10. I am not certified to remove asbestos.
    30.
  11. I am not Charlie Brown on acid.
    31.
  12. I am not delightfully saucy.
    32.
  13. I am not here on a fartball scholarship.
    33.
  14. I am not licensed to do anything.
    34.
  15. I am not my long-lost twin.
    35.
  16. I am not smarter than the President.
    36.
  17. I am not the acting President.
    37.
  18. I am not the last Don.
    38.
  19. I am not the new Dalai Lama.
    39.
  20. I am not the reincarnation of Sammy Davis Jr.
    40.
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