65 quotations — 12 Funny, 3 Serious, 50 Trivia.
Here's page 2 of 4.
Daddy's home!Barney Stinson 21.
Freeze frame high-five!Barney Stinson 22.
Hello, Ted.Barney Stinson 23.
If you're watching this tape — and I knew you'd pick this one — you are now in possession of my porn.
This can only mean two things: either I'm dead, or I'm now in a committed relationship.
If I'm dead, I want you to honor my memory by taking my body to the Hamptons, and recreating “Weekend at Bernie's”: I wanna‘ dance, I wanna’ have sex with a girl, and I wanna' go fishing.
If, on the other hand, I'm in a committed relationship, then, as your best friend, I have only one request: please, for the love of God, GET ME OUT OF THIS!
Hi. Haaaave you met Ted?Barney Stinson 24.
Hypothetical high-five!Barney Stinson 25.
Jesus waited three days to come back to life. It was perfect!Barney Stinson 26.
If he had only waited one day, a lot of people wouldn't have even heard he died.
They'd be all “Hey Jesus, what up?”; and Jesus would probably be like “What up? I died yesterday!”; and they'd be all “Uh ... you look pretty alive to me, dude.”.
And then Jesus would have to explain how he was resurrected, and how it was a miracle, and the dude'd be like “Uhh ... okay; whatever you say, bro.”.
And he's not gonna come back on a Saturday. Everybody's busy: doing chores, workin‘ the loom, trimmin’ the beard.
No! He waited the perfect number of days: three.
Plus, it's Sunday; so everyone's in church already.
And they're all in there like “Oh no; Jesus is dead”.
And then BAM! He bursts in the back door, runnin' up the aisle, everyone's totally psyched — and FYI, that's when he invented the high five.
That's why we wait three days to call a woman: because that's how long Jesus wants us to wait.
Phone-five!Barney Stinson 27.
[On the phone.]
Self-five!Barney Stinson 28.
[To himself.]
Tiny-five!Barney Stinson 29.
[To a little kid.]
What up?Barney Stinson 30.
Elementary, my dear Watson.Basil Rathbone 31.
[As Sherlock Holmes, in “The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes”.]
Fasten your seatbelts. It's going to be a bumpy night.Bette Davis 32.
[As Margo Channing, in “All About Eve”.]
Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.Clark Gable 33.
[As Rhett Butler, in “Gone with the Wind”.]
Go ahead; make my day.Clint Eastwood 34.
[As Harry Callahan, in “Sudden Impact”.]
You've got to ask yourself one question: “Do I feel lucky?”.Clint Eastwood 35.
Well, do ya, punk?
[As Harry Callahan, in “Dirty Harry”.]
Here's looking at you, kid.Humphrey Bogart 36.
[As Rick Blaine, in “Casablanca”.]
Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.Humphrey Bogart 37.
[As Rick Blaine, in “Casablanca”.]
Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine.Humphrey Bogart 38.
[As Rick Blaine, in “Casablanca”.]
The stuff that dreams are made of.Humphrey Bogart 39.
[As Sam Spade, in “The Maltese Falcon”.]
We'll always have Paris.Humphrey Bogart 40.
[As Rick Blaine, in “Casablanca”.]