For Programmers

Quotations about Computers, Programming, Programmers, and Engineering.

68 quotations — 47 Funny, 20 Serious, 1 Trivia.

Here's page 1 of 4.

  1. It is easier to change the specification to fit the program than vice versa.
    Alan Perlis 1.
  2. Unix is user friendly.
    It's just picky about it's friends.
    Andreas Bogk 2.
  3. Computers make it easier to do a lot of things.
    But most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
    Andy Rooney 3.
  4. The first ninety percent of a task takes ninety percent of the time.
    The last ten percent, takes the other ninety percent of the time.
    Arthur Bloch 4.
  5. C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot.
    C++ makes it harder, but, when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
    Bjarne Stroustrup 5.
  6. Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live.
    Damian Conway 6.
  7. Documentation is like sex:
    when it's good, it's very, very good;
    when it's bad, it's better than nothing.
    Dick Brandon 7.
  8. Premature optimization is the root of all evil — or, at least, most of it — in programming.
    Donald Knuth 8.
  9. How does a large software project get to be one year late?
    One day at a time!
    Fred Brooks 9.
  10. The wonderful thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose from.
    Grace Hopper 10.
  11. The most amazing achievement of the computer software industry is its continuing cancellation of the steady and staggering gains made by the computer hardware industry.
    Henry Petroski 11.
  12. Do you validate other people's markup?
    Yes? You're an asshole.
    [Referring to HTML markup; and to validating that markup to W3C specs.]
    Jeff Croft 12.
  13. A distributed system is one in which the failure of a computer you didn't even know existed can render your own computer unusable.
    Leslie Lamport 13.
  14. Computers are useless.
    They can only give you answers.
    Pablo Picasso 14.
  15. Any sufficiently advanced bug is indistinguishable from a feature.
    Rich Kulawiec 15.
  16. Programming languages, like pizzas, come in only two sizes: too big and too small.
    Richard E. Pattis 16.
  17. Programming, today, is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe trying to build bigger and better idiots.
    So far, the universe is winning.
    Rick Cook 17.
  18. Always listen to experts.
    They'll tell you what can't be done, and why.
    Then, go do it.
    Robert A. Heinlein 18.
  19. If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
    Robert X. Cringely 19.
  20. Software and cathedrals are much the same.
    First we build them, then we pray.
    Sam Redwine 20.

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