W. C. Fields

A comedian, actor, juggler and writer.

If you'd like, you can read more about W. C. Fields.

9 quotations — 7 Funny, 2 Serious.


  1. Ah, the pitter-patter of little feet around the house.
    There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
    1.
  2. I am free of all prejudices.
    I hate everyone equally.
    2.
  3. I cook with wine.
    Sometimes I even add it to the food.
    3.
  4. I like children.
    But only if they're properly cooked.
    4.
  5. If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
    5.
  6. Never try to impress a woman.
    Iif you do, she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
    6.
  7. Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
    7.

  8. It ain't what they call you; it's what you answer to.
    8.
  9. [Last words:]
    Goddamn the whole fucking world and everyone in it!
    Except you, Carlotta.
    [“Carlotta” was Fields's mistress.]
    9.