Ronald Reagan

The 40th President of the United States.

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18 quotations — all marked as Funny.


  1. Before I refuse to take your questions, I have an opening statement.
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  2. Going to college offered me the chance to play football for four more years.
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  3. Government always finds a need for whatever money it gets.
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  4. Government does not solve problems.
    It subsidizes them.
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  5. Governments tend not to solve problems, but only to rearrange them.
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  6. Here's my strategy on the Cold War: We win, they lose.
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  7. How do you tell a communist?
    Well, it's someone who reads Marx and Lenin.
    And how do you tell an anti-Communist?
    It's someone who understands Marx and Lenin.
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  8. I am not worried about the deficit.
    It is big enough to take care of itself.
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  9. I have left orders to be awakened at any time, in case of national emergency.
    Even if I'm in a cabinet meeting.
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  10. I hope you're all Republican.
    [Speaking to surgeons, as he entered the operating room, following the 1981 assassination attempt.]
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  11. It's true hard work never killed anybody, but, I figure, why take the chance?
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  12. One way to make sure crime doesn't pay would be to let the government run it.
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  13. Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession.
    I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
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  14. Recession is when a neighbor loses his job.
    Depression is when you lose yours.
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  15. Status quo, you know, is Latin for “the mess we're in”.
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  16. The most terrifying words in the English language are “I'm from the government and I'm here to help.”.
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  17. Thomas Jefferson once said “We should never judge a president by his age, only by his works.”.
    And ever since he told me that, I stopped worrying.
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  18. You can tell alot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jellybeans.
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