Quentin Crisp

A writer.

1. If you describe things as better than they are, you are considered to be romantic.
   If you describe things as worse than they are, you are called a realist.
   And, if you describe things exactly as they are, you are called a satirist.

   1.

2. Mass-murderers are simply people who have had enough.

   2.

3. The trouble with children is that they're not returnable.

   3.

4. The young always have the same problem: how to rebel and conform, at the same time.
   They have now solved this problem by defying their elders and copying each other.

   4.

5. To know all is not to forgive all.
   It is to despise everybody.

   5.

6. ---

7. Keeping up with the Joneses was a full-time job, with my mother and father.
   It was not until many years later, when I lived alone, that I realized how much cheaper it was to drag the Joneses down to my level.

   6.

8. My mother protected me from the world.
   My father threatened me with it.

   7.

9. Treat all disasters as if they were trivialities.
   But never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.

   8.