If you'd like, you can read more about Jack Handey.
10 quotations — all marked as Funny.
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.1.
That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away from them.
And you have their shoes!
Broken promises don't upset me.2.
I just think “Why did they believe me?”.
Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine.3.
Which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.
I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate.4.
And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.
I want to die peacefully, in my sleep, like my grandfather.5.
Not screaming in terror, like his passengers.
Instead of building newer and larger weapons of mass destruction, I think mankind should try to get more use out of the ones we have.6.
It takes a big man to cry.7.
But it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.
Of all the causes of austronaut insanity, getting a fly stuck inside your space helmet is probably in the top three.8.
Sometimes, when I lie in bed at night and look up at the stars, I think to myself “Man, I really need to fix that roof!”.9.
When you go in for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if they ever press charges.10.