Friends TV Show

Lines from the '90s hit sitcom created by David Crane and Marta Kauffman.

If you'd like, you can read more about Friends TV Show.

11 quotations — all marked as Funny.

  1. Chandler: I got her machine.
    Joey: Her answering machine?
    Chandler: No. Interestingly enough, her leaf-blower picked up.
  2. Joey: My agent just called me with an audition for Days of Our Lives!
    Phoebe: Oh! Well, we have to celebrate. You know what we should do? We should do, like, a soap opera theme.
    Chandler: Hey, yeah! We could all sleep together, and then one of us could get amnesia.
  3. Kathy: I'll tell you what, Chandler. Why don't you call me when you grow up!
    Chandler: Yeah, well, don't expect that to happen any time soon!
  4. [Last words of the series.]
    Rachel: Do you guys have to go to the new house right away, or do you have some time?
    Monica: We've got some time.
    Rachel: Okay. Should we get some coffee?
    Chandler: Sure... Where?
  5. [Monica and Chandler jump under the bed-covers. Chandler swiftly doffs his clothes.]
    Monica: Wow! You are really fast!
    Chandler: It bodes well for me that speed impresses you.
  6. Monica: I know of two surefire ways to shut a man up. And one of them is sex.
    Rachel: What's the other one?
    Monica: I don't know. I've never had to use the other one.
  7. [Monica serves Chandler and Joey some leftover chicken.]
    Monica: Okay, I've got a leg, three breasts, and a wing.
    Chandler: Well, how do you find clothes that fit?
  8. Monica: So basically, this is a getting-rid-of-everything-Rachel-ever-used sale.
    Ross: Touched, used, sat on, slept on.
    Gunther: I'll take it all.
  9. Monica [To Phoebe]: Honey, having a heart attack is nature's way of telling you to slow it down.
    Chandler: Really? I always thought a heart attack was nature's way of telling you to die.
  10. Phoebe: Lily's dead!
    Frank Sr.: She — what?
    Phoebe: She's dead.
    Frank Sr.: Are you sure?
    Phoebe: Well, if she isn't, cremating her was a big mistake.
  11. Susie: Excuse me. Is your name Chandler?
    Chandler: Uh, yes; yes it is.
    Susie: Chandler Bing?
    Chandler: Do you know me, or are you just really good at this game?