If you'd like, you can read more about Eddie Izzard.
2 quotations — all marked as Funny.
Puberty is the sickest joke God plays on us.1.
So you're just noticing members of the opposite sex: “Girls girls, ooo”. Naturally you want to look your best.
But God says “No! You will look the worst you've ever looked in your life!”.
We stole countries! That's how you build an empire.2.
We stole countries with the cunning use of flags!
Just sail halfway around the world, stick a flag in.
“I claim India for Britain.”
And they're going “You can't claim us. We live here! There's five hundred million of us.”
“Do you have a flag?”